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The Naked Bootleg


     It was the end of a long night of drinking.  The party was winding down, but we were still going strong.  The main bulk of the people were in the living room of the house, but we were all surrounding the keg in the garage.  We out numbered the other people and the natives started getting a little hostile.  I had left after the host started throwing glass into the kitchen sink.  But some decided to stay. 

     In casual drunken conversation someone brought up that they should steal the tap since no one is around.  In one sweeping motion, Jonathan rips the tap off the keg and throws it at Ken's feet.  Ken attempts to pick up the tap, but with any athletic ability being erased by alcohol, he bobbles the tap.  Eventually he contains himself and places the tap under his jacket, with the hose still hanging down at his feet.  Everyone then decides to scatter, leaving Ken slightly confused.  As Ken stumbles away, he makes a drastic mistake, he turns right instead of left.  On a side note, he has been know to do this.  One night Kevin and Ken ended up 10 blocks past our house coming from a party that was two blocks away.  As Ken stumbles some more, he realizes his mistake.  He has walked to the front of the house where the remainder of the party was.  When asked, "What are you doing?" by the host, Ken got anxious and he threw the beer tap into the bushes and then decided to get the hell out of there.  Ken had fumbled.  Luckily we did not lose the tap, because later that night, Jonathan returned to the bushes and recovered the fumbled tap.  Since that night, Ken has no longer received recruiting calls. 


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